I spoke with Carla again today. (We’ve been speaking frequently as of late.) I’ve had a lot on my plate and needed a fresh, unbiased outlook from someone who was not only not emotionally involved or invested, such as a friend would be, but someone who could see things most of us can’t – someone with the talent and gift Carla has for being able to “tune into” the spiritual aspect of people and situations.
With that said, we had a good, long conversation about a situation that happened to me last night with a guy I’m involved with. He’s currently deployed in Afghanistan and had been away doing some work. I was unaware and let my insecurities and anxiety get the best of me – I sent him far too many emails wondering where he was, and what was going on …worrying about his safety. We had left off on a rocky note last time I spoke to him, so I wasn’t sure if he was just not speaking to me, or simply out working. It had never occurred to me he might be on an extensive mission.
Needless to say, he returned last night and was non-too-pleased that I had been so overzealous reaching out to him, and he decided to cut ties with me. At first, although I was relieved he was safe and grateful that he at least replied to me, I was still angry that he decided to cut ties with me and the manner in which he chose to do so, via email.
But after re-reading his email a few times, I understood his need to “cut ties” because of where he is, and what he does for a living. He’s not really in a position to worry about me worrying about him. In my mind, it was a dead “done” deal because he had said it was so. I responded letting him know why I did what I did, and that I was angered by his reasons and method, and left it at that.
I spoke to Carla this morning about it, and we set up an appointment for a reading right away, I was beyond grateful that she took time out of her personal time and space to speak with me so quickly. I had initially intended to ask her why I kept attracting such selfish people and what my role was and how I could break that cycle. I wasn’t interested in what was going on with my guy, or if he was returning because I had already written that possibility off.
Carla had something different in mind, though. She went right into what he was thinking and feeling and how my actions had prompted him to do what he did. I hadn’t even considered that I was at fault. I saw him as ungrateful and selfish in my mind – all I was doing was reaching out and letting him know I was worried and I cared.
However, what I had done now was made him go from caring deeply for me, and considering me a pleasant “release” from his work when he returned to being a crazy person who is only going to cause him more stress. Carla said I need to stop that, and that I need to start showing him that I can handle what he does, that I support him, and I need to stop thinking it’s over. Carla explained that’s an “intense energy to put out there in the universe,” and if I keep thinking that way, it’s going to “manifest” that way.
Carla went on to say that I need to start believing I’m someone who’s very much “worth his time,” and that he’d be lucky to have someone like me. She advised me to contact him just one more time in the near future and keep it short and simple and just let it go from there. Carla said I need to show him that I can send him one email, and not follow it with twenty more afterwards just because he’s not replying when I expect or want him to.
Carla looked deeper into it and said if I followed this advice, and changed my outlook and approach in these situations, I should be hearing from him around May, or thereabouts. She understood why I did it and wasn’t blaming me like I was wrong in that sense – she said we’ve all done it at some point, but that I need to learn from it now and not repeat the same mistake. Carla gave me a good kick in the pants I needed! It was like talking to an old friend that won’t “sugarcoat” things for you, or coddle you like a child and tell you what you want to hear. THIS was exactly what I needed.
It’s great to speak to her, because a friend or family member or someone you know personally would most likely either tell you what they think you wanna hear – to agree with you and tell you he’s the wrong one and to move on. (I’ve already had that happen today.) Carla calls it as she sees it – right down the middle. No favoritism, or bias, in either direction.
I can’t remember how Carla and I came across each other on Twitter – but I’m beyond grateful it happened. If it wasn’t for her insightful words and perspective outlooks, I’d be a raging mess at this point. I will be speaking to Carla again in the near future. She definitely keeps me grounded when I’m “off and running like a chicken without a head.”
To me, Carla Baron is a “guardian angel on earth.” Without her, I would’ve taken a few different approaches and routes by now – ending up all twisted, and wondering how I got there, and how to get out. I cannot recommend her enough. She is completely honest, sincere, and comforting – and has never yet led me astray. I will be following her advice she gave today and looking forward to the outcome she predicted.