I have never spoken to a psychic before. It didn’t mean I was a skeptic, more that I was afraid to find out about my life and confront some really painful things. The approaching death of my dad prompted me to overcome that fear and contact Carla.
Some background on me: I am a childhood survivor of sexual abuse by my older brother. A few months after my mother passed, I was told by my father that my mom never told him about my abuse. My mother or father lied to me. I wasn’t sure which. The pain was and is incredible. My father will be dying any day of cancer and I needed to know the truth of who knew and why the lies.
Now the reading:
Carla called and I think she could sense how nervous I was because she told me to breathe and try to relax several times. I gave her only minimal information about my parents, first names and birth dates, and she was able to convey their personalities and the fact that they both knew about what had happened to me as a child.
I think I knew it already, but I didn’t want to believe that my parents could care so little for me or be in such denial. She let me know that my father will not acknowledge it ever, he can’t, it is just the way he is. I know on one level that is the way it is, but there is that piece of me that longs for some sorrow or acknowledgement. There is some measure of peace in knowing this, even though it is painful. Acceptance doesn’t mean that the pain is lessened only that a door must be closed.
Carla told me that my healing will not come from within my family, but by my talking with and helping others. Ironically, I have only felt good about myself doing that in the past. I had been doing those things for years, and then after my dad told me he knew nothing about what my brother did to me, I just shut down. Carla told me to go out in the sunshine and talk to people. I think she picked up on my closing myself off and isolating myself from people.
The most striking thing for me was when she told me that my father had something wrong with his lungs and trouble breathing. He is dying of Mesothelioma. Also, that my mother had stomach issues and really kept a lot of things inside. My mother did have digestive issues, but she also became very overweight and she died from heart failure. I always felt that she died from a broken heart. I took care of her the last few months of her life. I asked Carla if my mom was at peace. She said that she saw her as holding her head in shame feeling bad that she didn’t do enough for me. And that she felt conflicted because of me and that when I found healing she would too.
Hearing someone tell you that you have muscle problems and twitching, when you have a neuromuscular disease, is absolutely amazing. I told Carla NOTHING about my health. She told me I need to take care of myself and not bottle this in or I could end up losing control of my muscles. She said it reminds her of MS. I have CMT which is like a cousin to MS, but hereditary. Ironically, I’m the only one in my extended family to have it, and two of my children have inherited it from me.
I did tell her I was estranged from my siblings and wanted some information about them. I gave her names and birth dates and she nailed each one perfectly. I did not delve into my abuser with her, mistrust is something I have to work on, but she told me of this brother that he is a “dragging failure, a train wreck that leaves bits of himself all over.” He is on his third marriage and family.
Carla told me things of my children that I prefer at this time to keep to myself. I will be encouraging my oldest daughter to contact Carla since she might be more receptive to hearing what I’ve learned about her from Carla herself.
I cannot thank her enough for giving me some peace during this difficult time.