This was a quick thing, but I want to say that I got EVEN more than I expected. I was really only concerned about one or two things and we ended up getting a lot more accomplished than I realized.
Barnaby- You were RIGHT on. I always felt like he was some kind of ‘guardian’ as you said. No, it was never ever going to be sexual & I wouldn’t want it to be… I like it the way it is. I liked how you informed me on his ‘coming back to reality’ on when we get a little TOO close for comfort which I think happens and then he always is the one to rein it all back in. I like how the relationship will continue on the path it is going. Not too deep, but not too distant.
Aunt Catherine and her will – I kind of knew or thought b/c everyone else was panicking, that we would all worry over nothing. The ironic thing I like b/c I have some experience with wills and lawyers are what they are, sharks etc. The month of April I will definitely be thinking of as the process starts. Nothing has really gotten going BECAUSE of the lawyers.
And you were 100% ACCURATE that there are FOUR people involved.
Other members in the family:
Marisa – you are right about ‘layers’ and I have to tell you I know it is like ‘Paint’ trying to pull them OFF. And frankly I’m not at a point to DO that in my own life and where I want to go. I am interested in the lesson she is in the midst of learning though…
I sincerely hope it works out for her b/c she is my cousin and I do love her unconditionally.
Barbara – She is kind of nervous and tends to ‘take too much on her shoulders’ like you said. She really has no idea how to share the burden.
I can even think of a few examples with my own mom and her where my mom would try and help her out, and she would get all frazzled and nervous.
Most of the time over nothing…
Mary – when this other thing goes down that you and I talked about (I am not saying it for privacy reasons for the both of us b/c it has not happened yet.) I can see her specifically drifting away. She tries so hard to pretend everything’s together I feel her just combusting and running away from it all.
And me – I going to do what you said and stay on top of the wave and just ride it like Pisces do instead of getting trapped and panicky. I’ll just stay on top of the wave and ride it.
The dream about the house connected to my family (a family house, but not MY home specifically) …I am SOOOOOO happy I got a confirmation from you, Carla, and much more on what I was thinking. I had an idea and you took it deeper. The purity and things ‘not being dirty’ makes total SENSE.
1. Because I was 5 when I remember being in this house and to a 5-year-old everything’s untainted. That place of safety, if that’s what you want
to call it, is just where my brain was at that point, I guess. Plus, everyone else, at least from my end was young and fresh and untainted.
2. Because I remember seeing that exact tablecloth during a holiday, at that house and everything being all giddy and happy at that time.
Perhaps it was good to revisit it for a sense of security and knowing that I am stronger for having felt that kind of security in the first place.
I will look for the warning sign for the one relative in May. How much of a warning it will be, who knows, but at least there will be SOME kind of a warning.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! FOR EVERYTHING
AND YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM ME IN THE FUTURE ~
JESS ~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ~